Response #10 Acne

Mysterious Theologian: Ben

Alas, my 5 0’clock shadow does not cover my nose, which is where an eternal zit loves to sit.  See below.

Almighty Acne, when I look into the mirror with either vanity or despair at the form I see, you grace me by welling up and blossoming on my skin. Remind me with your pimply presence that my worth comes not from the smoothness of my flesh but from the sacred oil of your Anointed with which you sealed the very core of my being forever with the cross of Christ. With your never disappearing love, Oh Zit, lead me to wash daily in the waters of baptism. Amen. 

Challenge #10 Acne

Ben, that last one really hit home. This one does too, I’m just glad I don’t have to write a prayer about… acne! You know the stuff don’t you? Or, were you born with that 5 o’clock shadow of yours? Acne is a plaguing and embarrassing thing. Medications can cause it, stress can cause it, being a teenager can cause it, anything and/or nothing can cause it… but it seems like we humans, old and young, are stuck with it. So, God must be in it somewhere… right?

Response #9 Dandruff

A Three in One Prayer

Giving God, bless us with the courage to wear love and compassion on our sleeves like snot we’ve wiped from a child’s nose. And the courage to wear hope on our faces like chronic acne. And the courage to wear faith and trust on our shoulders like dandruff. And let that faith, hope, and love be your faith, hope, and love. It will be disgusting and unbelievable to some but to others, your children, it will be a beautiful and broken sign that points to the wholeness there is in you.

Amen

Challenge #9 Dandruff

Challenger: Ben

Alright, Chase, it’s time for dandruff!  Dandruff, those bits of dead skin from your scalp that are itchy, flaky, messy, and a window into the divine!

Response #7 Boogers

Mysterious Theologian: Chase

A Prayer of… Aaaachooo!… Thanks

God bless you… God. If that makes sense. You know me completely. I can hide nothing from you, yet you love me and I witness your grace all around me. I feel your grace through my friends and kind acquaintances who pretend not to notice the embarrassingly human things about me. Or who, unable to ignore my foolishness, are able to laugh the pangs of embarrassment away with me. Send more angels like these to me, I’ve got a lot of embarrassingly human tendencies, habits, and um, disgraces.

Amen

Challenge #7 Boogers

Challenger: Ben

Chase, since the thought of fingers interacting with it grossed you out, I give you…

Boogers! Snot, mucus, mocos! Whether it’s slimy or crusty, dripping or congesting, in your tissue or own your finger, you Chase, need to see God in it!

Response #6 Fingernails

Mysterious Theologian: Ben

First of all, Chase…maybe you should talk to someone about your relationship with fingernails…

Oh Sacred Fingernail, just as you formed the letters on the tablets of stone given to Moses, so too you traced every detail of my being into the dust which you gave life.  In your own image, you gave me fingers with which to caress and examine your creation.  Protect their tips from doors slammed in anger, trunks closed in thoughtlessness, and boxes dropped in weariness. Scrape away my fear, that like Thomas’s finger, I too may venture into the wounds of injustice in your resurrected and incarnate love.  And when anxiety overwhelms me, let me chew on the truth that you are always at my fingertips and taste all the places through which you have journeyed with me. Amen.

Challenge #6 Fingernails

Ben, I’m sure you would agree that fingernails are gross. Why do you think some men and women choose to paint them? Yeah, maybe they’re making a statement, but it’s a double whammy: they get to make a statement and cover up these yucky little things attached to our fingers. Our fingernails get dirt underneath them. This is especially true when we don’t keep them trimmed. Some people say “I’ll scratch your back if you scratch mine…” Gross! And furthermore I’ve watched a lot of Law and Order… what are you trying to frame us for? And let’s top this huge piece of disgusting pie with a festering cherry: some people chew their nails. Ugh Benjamin, I’m sickened just thinking about fingernails, so I’m going to stop and let you pray… Gross, I just remembered boogers.

Challenge #03 Gastroenteritis

The Challenger: Ben

Alright, Chase, here’s one based on recent personal experience, and during which I could have used some serious prayers: Gastroenteritis or infectious diarrhea is a medical condition characterized by inflammation (“-itis”) of the gastrointestinal tract that involves both the stomach (“gastro”-) and the small intestine (“entero”-), resulting in some combination of diarrhea, vomiting, and abdominal pain and cramping.^[1]Gastroenteritis has also been referred to as gastro, stomach bug, and stomach virus. Although unrelated to influenza, it has also been called stomach flu and gastric flu.

Response #02 The Blobfish

The Mysterious Theologian: Ben

Prayer to God Revealed in the Blobfish

Oh Mysterious Blobfish, your true form is beyond my knowing,

For I but stand on the surface of the vast ocean of my soul,

And you dwell in my depths,

Uncrushed by the pressure I place on myself,

Waiting patiently for me to dive in,

And swim into your ever-waiting smile.

Give me the courage to take that plunge.

Amen.